Drapple Pie
by SlytherPuff123
Summary: Draco finds a talking apple in his kitchen. Crack fic of sorts. One-shot. Drapple/Drarry. Complete.


It was late morning on a warm spring Saturday. Harry Potter and his boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, could be found in the small kitchen of their shared apartment. They were busy making an apple pie for Narcissa's visit later that day.

"How many more apples will I need to maim, Harry?" Draco asked sarcastically.

"Only one more" Harry replied smirking, glancing at the open cook book next to him, all whilst carefully preparing the pastry for the pie. Draco huffed in response and leant against the worktop.

"I just still don't get it," Draco started after a beat of silence. "Why must I spend all this time peeling and chopping these bloody apples when we could just use magic and be done with it already."

"Merlin, you really don't like doing manual work, do you? I have more to do than you anyway." Harry chuckled and walked over to a pouting Draco to hug him from behind. "Well," Harry continued, "I think it's fun. Besides, it tastes better when we do it by hand." This earned a hum in agreement from the blond as he picked up the peeler and an apple.

"That's the spirit," Harry coaxed whilst trying to pat Draco's hair, before he ran away from Harry's flour-covered hands, squealing about the important of his hair, which made them both chuckle.

Harry had gone back to making the pasty and Draco was preparing to peel the green apple when he heard a high pitched squeak that had sounded like _'no.' _He froze.

"Did you say something?" He said, clearing his throat.

"No," Harry replied, turning to look at Draco. "Did you hear something?"

"Uh no," Draco shook his head. "No, never mind."

Glancing at the apple in his palm, he scoffed quietly and brought the peeler close to the apple. Once again he heard the hushed squeal - _'No!__Please don't!'_ \- and almost dropped the apple in shock.

"You- You can..talk?" Draco asked dumbly, taking care to keep quiet so that his boyfriend wouldn't think him mad. The apple bobbed it's head awkwardly. He didn't know what to say so carefully placed the apple away from him and pointedly looked away as he reached for a different apple. He shook himself slightly but carried on with peeling and chopping the final apple needed for the pie.

Once he was done he grabbed the 'talking' apple and made for the bedroom with an excuse of needing to get changed;

"Mother will be here shortly and I must go and make myself look presentable. As must you," He smirked playfully as he looked Harry up and down. This earned Draco a fond eye-roll as Harry waved him off.

* * *

Once out of sight, Draco hurriedly made his way to the bedroom and shut the door, leaning against it.

"Uh-" came the voice from the apple as Draco brought it up to eye level. "Th- Thank you for not- well..."

"It's no problem. Really," Draco cut in. He managed a small smile. It wasn't unusual to come across a talking object in the magical world, however talking food was very rare. He supposed it had been charmed.

Draco walked over to the bed and sat down, apple still in hand. He was finally able to get a good look at the apple in front of him. If he was being honest, he thought the apple looked rather beautiful. It's shining green colouring and flawless peel and- he realised he was staring. And blushing. He looked away quickly, his pale cheeks reddening further.

"Right, just stay in here and don't make any loud noises," Draco said in a hushed voice as he made his way out of the bedroom.

He and his apple had made pleasant conversation until they were earlier interrupted by Harry checking in on Draco and being shooed towards the bathroom to clean up. This time it was Draco's mother coming through the Floo that had ended their conversation. Draco took one final look in the mirror before rushing out and leaving the door ajar.

"Draco! Harry!" Narcissa beamed upon entering the living room, hugging them both in turn. "How lovely to see you both; you're looking well." She smiled graciously as she patted her son's cheek lightly.

They all made polite conversation as they sat around the small, wooden kitchen table eating the dinner Harry and Draco had prepared. Draco's mother had remarked on how nice the food was, and they were both delighted-especially Draco-when Narcissa particularly loved the apple pie.

* * *

Before they knew it, hours had passed; it was getting dark outside. Narcissa had left a short while ago, leaving Harry and Draco to relax on the sofa watching a muggle film.

Apple had gotten bored a short while after Draco had left, and had gotten bored of exploring the bedroom. The apple had finally decided to squeeze out the door, and set off in search of his new friend. After hopping around the apartment looking for Draco, he was relieved when he found him in the living room. However his relief was short lived. As Apple got closer he realised that Draco was with someone else. Very close together. Apple huffed in anger.

Upon hearing the noise, both boys turned around to see the apple staring at them, eyes filled with jealousy.

"How could you Draco?!" Apple wanted Draco to himself.

"Uh, Dray..." Harry had paused the film and was looking at Draco now. "What's going on?" He asked tentatively.

"I can explain," Draco sighed, looking between his boyfriend and his apple.

"Draco." Apple was looking searchingly at him as the blond moved towards the apple and knelt down. "I like you, and I thought you liked me too. Which is why I'm not willing to share you."

"But-"

"That means," Apple continued, "you will have to chose. _Me,_ or _him?"_ His voice was laced with venom as he indicated to the bewildered boy on the sofa.

"Wh-what? That's-" He spluttered for a moment. He first looked to Harry, who was looking a little concerned; and turned back to the apple. "I'm sorry." Draco stood and walked over to his boyfriend. Grey eyes met green as he took Harry's hands in his and pulled him to his feet. Still clutching his hands he continued:

"Of course I choose Harry." He smiled as he saw Harry's lopsided grin and missed the apple's crestfallen expression as he hopped away.

"So," Harry started once Apple had left the apartment. "Are you gonna explain what all that was about?" He asked, still smiling at his boyfriend.

Draco grinned. "Maybe later," he replied thoughtfully. He sat back down on the sofa and dragged Harry down with him.

They continued to watch films all through the evening until they both fell asleep under a blanket, snuggled up to each other.

* * *

Alright this was my first ever fanfic, and first one-shot! Make sure to tell me what you think and leave a review! - Vixen


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